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WINSOMECOWBOY
I'm not a baby! I have a disease!
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Member Since: 6/2006Last Seen: 11/07/2009
Member Since: 6/2006Last Seen: 11/07/2009
32 Votes
49 Comments
Man tells police 'I've been raped by a wombat'
News Type: Event — Seeded on Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:12 AM EDT
Article Source: New Zealand Heraldadvertisement
A 48-year-old orchard worker has been sentenced to 75 hours community work after calling police to complain he was being raped by a wombat.
Arthur Ross Cradock, of Motueka, called police on February 11 and informed them the rape was taking place at his house and he required assistance, The Nelson Mail reported.
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39
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{"commentId":1624665,"authorDomain":"winsomecowboy"}
Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court alcohol played a large role in Cradock's life.
Uh huh!
{"commentId":1624665,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"winsomecowboy"}
- 13 votes
#1 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 2:13 AM EDT{"commentId":1624952,"authorDomain":"PeterMerel"}
But of course wombats are notorious for this kind of behaviour. The Macquarie (Australian) English dictionary says,
Wombat noun. Australian marsupial, family Vombatidae. Eats roots, shoots and leaves.
{"commentId":1624952,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"PeterMerel"}
- 9 votes
{"commentId":1624968,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}
Police now have a suspect in custody.
{"commentId":1624968,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"paperdragon"}
- 9 votes
{"commentId":1625685,"authorDomain":"SVForbes"}
Cradock pleaded guilty in Nelson District Court to using a phone for a fictitious purpose.
It wasn't a fictitious report if he somehow believed it was true.
He likely did not have a very good attorney. Liver disease associated with alcohol abuse can cause brain inflammation, leading to hallucinations.
{"commentId":1625685,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"SVForbes"}
- 8 votes
{"commentId":1626269,"authorDomain":"theothermeat"}
You don't say...
{"commentId":1626269,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"theothermeat"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1637434,"authorDomain":"digits"}
Wombat rape is no laughing matter.
He later called back asking to retract the claim.
"Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know," he told the operator.
Once again...rape victim fails to go forward with their story. He was probably scared no one would believe him. I don't know why... after all he was speaking Australian.
;)
{"commentId":1637434,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"digits"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1624773,"authorDomain":"tang"}
I've seen a wombat - they don't look particularly well suited to rape fully grown men. He'd have better luck claiming it was an Emu.
{"commentId":1624773,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"tang"}
- 12 votes
#2 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 3:40 AM EDT{"commentId":1624781,"authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
Emus are far too carnivorous.
A sheep on the other hand...
{"commentId":1624781,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
- 9 votes
{"commentId":1624787,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}
That would just be revenge.
{"commentId":1624787,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"paperdragon"}
- 12 votes
{"commentId":1624840,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
I'd do a wombat.
{"commentId":1624840,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 10 votes
{"commentId":1625862,"authorDomain":"hemphill"}
{"commentId":1625862,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"hemphill"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":1625938,"authorDomain":"SVForbes"}
I'd do a wombat.
Uhm! Why?
{"commentId":1625938,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"SVForbes"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":1626173,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
I'd do a wombat.clearly.
so that's what I missed! it all clicks into place now. Calvin - you're playing a good community information service in your spare time:-)
{"commentId":1626173,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":1627106,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Hey, he's way cuter than a wombat. And not nearly as fat.
Uhm! Why?
"A complicated dance, a bite on the rump and ferocious backward kicks."
{"commentId":1627106,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1627123,"authorDomain":"hemphill"}
I really wanted to quote that line instead, but just couldn't
{"commentId":1627123,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"hemphill"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1627311,"authorDomain":"chasencash"}
That will be enough about sheep thank you.
{"commentId":1627311,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"chasencash"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1627323,"authorDomain":"hemphill"}
silence implies consent...
{"commentId":1627323,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"hemphill"}
- 1 vote
{"commentId":1627440,"authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
Calvin wins - He gets a free sheep.
{"commentId":1627440,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1628065,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
yeah Robbie. Not as if you ain't got a few running spare down there in the hills, eh?
{"commentId":1628065,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1628148,"authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
When you live here as long as I have, you tend to get very protective over your stock!
However Sawa deserved that, so I'll let one go - Besides, Calvin is gentle so I trust him.
{"commentId":1628148,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1648023,"authorDomain":"tang"}
Velcro gloves.
{"commentId":1648023,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"tang"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1648065,"authorDomain":"winsomecowboy"}
Velcro gloves.
One clap and you're immobilised.
{"commentId":1648065,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"winsomecowboy"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1650109,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
However Sawa deserved that, so I'll let one go - Besides, Calvin is gentle so I trust him.
...wait, did you turn me into a sheep just then?
{"commentId":1650109,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1650137,"authorDomain":"hemphill"}
we thought you agreed
{"commentId":1650137,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"hemphill"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1650174,"authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
Are you warm and fluffy?
Do you like it from behind?
Do you prefe... Okay yeah, nevermind. Welcome to my heard.
{"commentId":1650174,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1650626,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Agreed to what?
Welcome to my heard.
You either meant to type "herd", "head", or "hard" here. None are good options for me.
{"commentId":1650626,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1653402,"authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
*scratches eyebrow* Now that's embarrassing.
How about we do all three at the same time - It shouldn't be too hard for you to deal with then.
{"commentId":1653402,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"bluemutiny"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1665927,"authorDomain":"tang"}
I heard that it's hard for you to be a part of a herd, your individualistic flair gets in the way.
{"commentId":1665927,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"tang"}
{"commentId":1624823,"authorDomain":"djd"}
using a phone for a fictitious purpose
This is an offence? In my youth I remember reading a couple of pages of a turgid novel to a friend's answer phone. Didn't realize it was a crime. Yikes!
{"commentId":1624823,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"djd"}
- 10 votes
#3 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 4:51 AM EDT{"commentId":1624839,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Yeah, prank calling is a misdemeanor. I called the cops on a former friend who was delivering obscene phone calls from his cronies' cell phones once, but it was out of state and there wasn't much to be done. I threatened the @!$%# out of one of his friends, though, and haven't received another phone call since.
{"commentId":1624839,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":1624960,"authorDomain":"seward"}
I thought at first that he claimed to have been raped by a Womble! Uncle Bulgaria certainly wouldn't have approved!
{"commentId":1624960,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"seward"}
- 6 votes
#4 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 6:56 AM EDT{"commentId":1625094,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
Seems like Cradock didn't time his alcolohic stupor well. 'cos if he had, the wombat woud have been madder. Love would have been the last thing on his mind then.
{"commentId":1625094,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 6 votes
#5 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 7:59 AM EDT{"commentId":1626074,"authorDomain":"SirThinkswaytomuch"}
Are you sure he isn't in shock from a dingo eating his baby?
{"commentId":1626074,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"SirThinkswaytomuch"}
- 4 votes
#6 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:22 PM EDT{"commentId":1626151,"authorDomain":"brandonmay"}
We are ignoring the obvious question here: Does the Wombat claim it was consentual? If so, then it's his word against the Wombat, and a settlement might need to be reached.
{"commentId":1626151,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"brandonmay"}
- 4 votes
#7 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:36 PM EDT{"commentId":1626177,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
well. he was drunk. that settles it.
{"commentId":1626177,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":1626246,"authorDomain":"djd"}
It's Ross's fault really, he shouldn't have invited the Wombat in for coffee. Everybody knows that's a euphemism.
{"commentId":1626246,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"djd"}
- 9 votes
#8 - Thu Mar 27, 2008 12:53 PM EDT{"commentId":1628806,"authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
Really it is not the wombats that you guys need to worry about - it's the drop bears.
{"commentId":1628806,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1628818,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Drop bears. *shudder* Those things are vicious.
{"commentId":1628818,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1628825,"authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
Ha, ha, ha.
{"commentId":1628825,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1629066,"authorDomain":"djd"}
Even drunken Ross wouldn't invite one of those in for coffee.
{"commentId":1629066,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"djd"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":1629096,"authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
Ha, ha, ha.
{"commentId":1629096,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"caroleroach"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":1629104,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Did you just make a Friends reference? How 90s...
{"commentId":1629104,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1629241,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
{"commentId":1629258,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
@!$%#. We just got RickRolled, y'all.
{"commentId":1629258,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1629315,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
Didn't take long for Ryan to suss me out, eh:-)
{"commentId":1629315,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":1629333,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
Nope. I'm a professional susser. That'll be $10, please.
{"commentId":1629333,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1629401,"authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
Ha. Knew there'd be a cost element! I'll live it under the pillow in Nycam's latest Group:-)
{"commentId":1629401,"threadId":"240703","contentId":"1392979","authorDomain":"raatkiraani"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":1635730,"authorDomain":"satanomore"}
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